A little battered and bruised!

Well i'm back to the land of rain, wet snow and poor drivers.

I just spent about four days in the lovely B.C interior...Kamloops is a sight to be held. The city itself isn't touristy, not blown out of proportion but a humble town with stellar ski hills.



As I stated in my previous blog I was going to try my hand at snowboarding. I'd never done it before and figured since it's what they do in B.C ...i'd try to resemble one of the locals and give it the old college try.

As I had never even set foot on a snowbord, I was informed that I should know which foot I should place "first" on the board (IE your guide foot). Since I had obviously know idea, the lad at the hill decided to help me choose my "guide foot" and gave me a good solid shove. Apparently whatever foot you place behind or infront of you after your violent shove is you "stable" foot.
So, now that I had my stable left foot firmly in place on my board...I was chairlift bound.

The chiair lift was another adventure. Thankfully the lift attendants will slow the lift down for you (or completely stop it in my case) so that the rider is able to comfortably mount said chairlift.
At the top they also slow it down, but in my case it was too late and I was already a crumpled mass underneath the chair lift.

I am now at the top of the "baby" hill. Baby hill was defiantely an understament and for those of you who have skiied at Chicopee will understand that an ontario baby hill and a British Columbian baby hill are utterly different.

The first time I went down, I crawled the first half, and fell the second half. It took my approximately 1 1/2 hours to traverse the hill.

Regardless it was a pretty damn good sport. The chairlift eventually was conquered...however the signs by the chairlift were not. I ran into them knocking them over every single time I dismounted the lift.

That is all of my shinnanegans for now.....
later peeps, keep it real!

So

Snowboarding for me!

I'm totally in for a weee trek to the west coast!

I've never done the snowboarding thing before and figure I should totally give it a whirl! Why not?

I'm sure i'll manage to fit in some (copious amounts of) drinky poo! And maybe sampling some on B.C's finest (wink wink nudge nudge!)

Who knows.

I'll give you an update when I get back....

Later peeps!

stay away from hospital bathrooms!

Take heed my friends and use this advice. Please stay away from hospital bathrooms.

I've finally had it. Yes the workers at these specific hospitals do a really good job of cleaning them, however some people who choose to use these washrooms, are either really sick....or faking sick for attention.

Against my better judgement, I had to use one of these facilities earlier today. I was in desperate need and thought that it wouldn't be that big a deal.

I entered the lavatory and walked over towards the toilet. It is then that I discovered a GIANT pile....of hair...(and let's just say for arguments sake that it wasn't from my head...or anyones HEAD for that matter...forget the 'arguments sake'...).

Someone that had just used the washroom prior to my entering it decided to do a trim job on their unmentionable areas.... Why would anyone in there right mind take care of that issue in the HOSPITAL washroom!

I actually screamed in complete horror. Thankfully my shreiks of terror didn't actually alert any of our local authourities, however thinking about it now maybe I should have tried to track down this sicko and have a cop arrested him for public disruptive behaviour.

Regardless. My advice is if you happend to find yourself in a similar situation, proceed with caution, remain calm and try not to cry/scream or shit yourself!

Take care friends, and have a beer. I know I will be once i'm done work!

SO.........

I am quite excited.
I am heading out to B.C sometime soon, to enjoy some snowboarding. I've never really tried snowboarding serisouly but I figured why not try my hand, while drinking on huge mountains in Kamloops. What, in all honesty could go wrong?

I think that my blog has becoming boring. I really don't have anything exciting going on.
My work usually keeps me entertained, but I don't have too many good stories; with the exception of more poor driving stories. They always keep me entertained. This story is based on some idiotic women that I nearly crashed into while driving my nearly dead patient to the hospital.
I had all of my lights on etc., was honking my horn AND siren like...well not my life, but my patients life depended on it. This women stood on her brakes and stopped about 1 ft infront of me. She didn't move, just put her hands to her head and shook her head. Correct me if i'm wrong however I don't believe that it says anywhere in my driver manual that the driver of a motor vehicle is supposed to use this manouver when dealing with an emergency situation.
I could not pass by her on the left due to the fact that there was a giant median in the way, and I could not pass her on the right because all the compentant drivers had pulled to the right (which is what one is supposed to do in these pesky situations). So, me being the calm individual that i am (minus the fact that i was screaming obscenities and making wild hand gestures) I placed my hand on the horn, and siren-alternating between the two-and sat there for 3 1/2 minutes. By the time this person finally figured out that she should move the f*ck out of my way....the other drivers (that are pulled over) are honking there horns and waving their arms wildly.
Needless to say dumb ass moved her P.O.S rusted out van and we proceded to the hospital without further incident. The patient ended up being okay.

So there is more stories form the road.

That's all for now...maybe i'll write later after my near death experiences whilst snowboarding in Kamloops...
later peeps!

Why would anyone voluntarily water ski?

I decided to head up to the ol' cottage for the long weekend after a stressful week of work...and a stressful month overall.

It turned out a be a pretty good decision. I was able to hang out with some family I haven't seen in eons, read for hours on end and was able to see my mother ( who rarely drinks) realatively intoxicado.

The last day I was there I decided to do some well deserved knee-boarding, tubing and I figured that while I was at it, why not throw some water-skiing into the mix.

Well let me tell you that after about four years of not even looking at a water ski, I remeber why I decided to forget the sport all together. When you fall (because it is going to happen) depending on your speed and terminal velocity at time of impact one of three things ( or all of them) will occur.
#1- you will most probably lose your shorts and/or bathing suit bottoms
#2-you will have your eye lids sucked back to the bottom of the lake given you an appearance of someone who is REALLY surprised
#3- you will experience the unfortunate feeling of an elderly man recieving his first enema. (copious amounts of water being shot up your nether regions and a rediculous speed).

This is not fun...sure once you actually make it to a standing (or slightly hunched over) position it is kinda fun. You think you look pretty cool and can weave back and forth over the wake that is created by the boat.

Falling as i've described in gruesome detail above aint so much fun.

After falling...(yes you get over the inital shock and unfortunateness of many people witnessing your demise) you get to experience the pain for days to come. I awoke this morning and I had (still have) pain in areas of my body I forgot existed. I am unable to walk up any number of stairs....unable to bend over to retrive something from the bottom of the fridge, and cannot sit comfortably ANYWHERE!

So, my advice for all of you would-be water skiers...give it a whirl but be prepaired for the ill affects that will haunt you for three days or so after your olympic water skiing attempts....

Have fun bloggers...i'm going to go and ice my ass!

My Little Birdie

So most of the people who regularly read this blog will know that a member of my family (my pet bird pogo) died recently.

It's not the best picture I have of her, but I figure I would put it up anways because it's a pretty cute picture.

You know, I can't believe how supportive and "uber" cool my friends have during, during probably one of the most depressive times of my life.

I know that your thinking that it's just a bird...

but really she was way more than a bird...she would walk out of my bedroom into the kitchen just to get some piece of food ( usually meat, or spaghetti), she loved coke (only in the can) and would attack anyone who she felt might steal her eggs...or mirror or febreeze bottle that she liked to chew.

It's nuts what people (myself included) do for their animals....after she got sick in may I was told to keep her warm when I brought her home...so (much to pogo's dismay) I crammed her into my bed and would sleep beside her, for like 2 weeks.... It worked though she did get better.

I miss her so much and swear that I can still hear her walking around my appartment... I thought I would just share a little of the bird that I loved and was lucky enough to have for an all to short 14yrs....

Some neat illustrations found during a brief moment of boredum...whilst at work

The joys of a looong weekend

So, although I couldn't head down south to the picture below, i've just returned from four days of sunny/overcast days in the Haliburton Highlands where I have a cottage.

A beauty long weekend....full of booze, boating and benevolence. Everything beginning with B anyway.

The long weekend is usually pretty relaxing until the ride home. I was initially planning on leaving early Monday morning, however giving it some thought I realized that everyone and there pooch would be heading home around the same time. So me being the inventive type I decided to leave late on Sunday night. Well apparently I'm not nearly as inventive as I once thought because a trip that usually takes about 3 hours took nearly 4....and I took the 407 ( the expensive highway that is faster).

Seriously why? Once there are more that 10 cars on the highway people forget the basic rules of the road.

Numero uno- the fast lane is for drivers driving fast.... not drivers driving under the speed limit with a trailer and forty bikes on the back of there wayward caravan. RIDICULOUS!

Numbero dose- there is no need for excessive break usage. There was this person in front of me that would break every time that he or she ( I couldn't tell if this person was male of female because as soon as the chance presented itself I blew past them @ 180km) thought that the car 2 miles in front of them might on the off chance stop!

Oh well, I'm home and learned a valuable lesson that if I am going to head home I either have to leave at 3 am or take the dirt roads home, not the major highways.

All said I did have a pretty damn good weekend. Just relaxed and totally forgot about the bogosity that sometimes occurs at work....okay that always occurs at work!

Why the hell can't I be there?

Why can't I be on this beach right now?

I'm currently awaiting a bed at a certain hospital that is really busy! I'm personally not waiting for a bed (mind you sometimes I think I should be comitted to the psych ward) I'm waiting for my patient to get a bed.

I decided to write a blog about the places that I would like to be right now, rather than being stuck here at the hospital.

I would rather be

A) at home doing nothing

B) at a local bar drinking some sort of beer or fancy cockatil

C) on said beach pictured above learning how to surf...or roll joints with only one hand....(ha ha ha)

Look at this picture....why can't I work down there?

Well come to think of it if I were to work in some tropical island I would be drunk 95% of the time!!

I just thought I would waste my time writing this post, and hopefully you reading this will daydream about the places you wish to visit or live....

wether it's pipe dreaming or not....

My horoscope the other day (one which I rarely read) said actually instead of pipe dreaming....DO IT! Do the crazy shit you normally wouldn't do!

Well I should end this pointless blog because now that we have a bed...i'm now going to do a bogus transfer of a patient to Hamilton.....

Does Hamilton have a beach like this one??

lets hope so...

BIG PAIN!

So, just thought I would add my two cents about something that has recently come to my attention.

Tattoo's are great....however don't get them done on your wrist.

My most recent is two waves...and I do really love it. I had it done in April on my left wrist. I like the design for a number of reasons...the two waves inter- "mingling" appealed to me the most.

The actual design is called "nalu" meaning; Wave, surf; full of waves; wavy as wood grain. Ke nalu nei ka moana, the ocean is full of waves. 2. vt. To ponder, meditate, reflect, mull over, speculate.

As I said love the design, however should have chosen to place it elsewhere on my body. My wrist hurt like a son of a gun (the first time around).....the problem arose afterward when the tattoo artist told me it will probably fade because my wrist was a "high traffic area"...

Question number one-why in the hell did he not tell me this vital detail prior to permanently etching it into my arm.

Question two- what the hell does he think i'm doing with my wrist to make it a high traffic area...? LAME

So...needless to say it faded rather noticeably to the point where a 11 yr old friend of mine stated bluntly "Erin, you probably shouldn't draw on your arm...it doesn't look good"....(YESS)

So I diligently trudged down to the local tattoo hole today to get it re-done.

The first time hurt...but was bearable...second time....SHITE!

It really hurt this time, he went over the same area so many god damned times that I was practically shooting blood onto the table.

So, I still say go get that snake holding a rose tattoo you've always wanted but avoid the wrist like the plague my friends....like the plague

Well have fun out there, and good luck.....

My new Favorite Blog

Ya'll have to check out this blog....not supposed to be funny at all, just someone writing about her everyday life, but the pictures and limited word usage is simply divine! I laughed so freakin hard....

look i'm not saying my blog is anything to write home about, it's an outlet I use when i'm bored. However this blog is something to be had.

http://creativityfrom303.blogspot.com/

Maybe i'm the only one who thinks this is funny, but I reccomend you take a boo, and let me know what you think.

I've included some pictures from this women's blog for your enjoyment.

Here is a taste of Mrs. B's poetry enjoy;

The fox went out on a chilly night

Prayed to the moon to give him light

For he had many miles to go that night

Before he reached the town-o

Just brilliant mrs B simply brilliant!

Totally random pictures

These are some totally random pictures that I actually found on this computers hard drive....
we actually have some down time and I was bored so I started mooching around and looky what i've found.
A) My steallar parking job!!
B) My rez football game!!












C) Some sign that i've found...isn't it great!!

That is that, and that is all.....

So on the way to work....

Of course i'm already 15 minutes late, and there is traffic on the highway because the city of Kitchener is physically unable to construct proper highways.

Bumper to Bumper and I can already assume that there is an accident (however minor) probably about 100 feet ahead of me that people insist on looking at.

I am in uniform, so as I pass this "fender bender" and think to myself...."people are stopping to look at this shit". There was two cars that had stopped, AND one had a flat tire. This was why I was late for work, and also why it later became my first call of the night.

Some "good samaritan" decided that someone, at somepoint (i'm guessing whilst changing the tire) somehow looked injured in someway. BOGUS!!!!! That good samaritan called 911, without stopping to check himself wether or not anyone was hurt. So with this individual calling 911, police, Fire and Ambulance ALL show up for someone changing a tire.

Needless to say the poor sod that I had passed earlier on my way into work, still was changing his tire when the calvary shows up. The tire guy has this deer in the headlights look, as does his waif of a girlfriend.

My rant lesson for today, IF you are kind enough to call 911, STOP TO CHECK IF EVERYONE IS OKAY...unless, of course it is a gun fight between to nuns ( you don't want to get in the middle of that shit).

More mindless things....

So here are some funny signs and pictures that I found online and laughed my ass off at. Instead of reading or doing something constructive...I thought I would share these images with all of you.

That is about all I can muster today.....stand by fellow bloggers...i'm sure I'll add more shit later!

enjoy!

Napolean Dynamite

Serisouly.....

So initally this movie was a little lame and I didn't think it was funny at all.....

however after a few wobbly pops...I enjoyed it thouroughly.

REALLY funny~!

Anyone reading this needs to take time out of there schedule and watch this little bit of wonder. Perhaps it may take one or two tries to appreciate this materpiece....but trust me it will come.

The music in itself will take you back to your Grandmother's basment, complete with a year supply of Burt Bacharach records and organ melodies.

This is to all the people who draw made up animals ( such as the 'liger') and who throw 10 ounce steaks in anger, will love this movie and will agree with me that an oscar nod isn't to far away.

Back to the hustle and bustle...instead of footloose and fancy free

So

i've just taken a glorious week off to go whitewater kayaking on the Ottawa river.

I have bruised nearly every part of my body because i've chucked myself down every rapid in the middle channel.

Just prior to booking my trip I bought a new pink jackson alltar (which is a very short playboat). Needless to say it feels a little different than my older boat, so I spent the majority of my time swimming out of my boat, as opposed to paddling in it.

This is my first shift back to work and jesus....there is nothing I want more than to be on a dock somewhere with a nice cold bevy in my hands ( yes hands.....plural.....implying two beers) instead of in a polyester burlap sac of a uniform. I'm sure polyester is sweat wicking....right?? I know the uniform has a death grip of other people's blood and bodily fluids ( i hate that word....fluids...guh) so i'm sure it will be really "breathable" after a few hours of dealing with patients....

yummm..

so you probably have noticed by now how poorly I spell and how my use of grammar leaves something to be desired.... so I apologize but if I slow down i'll forget the useless crap that I was planning on typing.

As you can also infer...i'm tired and want to be in bed....actually no....please refer to above in refernce to the dock and beers in hand.

have a good one and thanks mucho for reading!

i'm hungy!

So, would it kill some restaurants to be open later than midnight.

The only thing that's open around these parts are Sobeys and good old McDonalds....Wendy's used to have the slogan something to do with being "open late".....hm....i'm assuming that 100% of night shift workers would agree that midnight AINT late.

So being as though it's 00:39 my option of having the round eye special at some chinese restaurant it pretty much null and void, I get to look forward to either old fries or re-heated pizza....

awesome!

The reason that i've been unable to get good food, is due to the fact that the hospitals are full of people that in all honesty do not need to be here!

ughhhhhh....really having a "tummy ache" for three years does not constitute a emergency department trip!!!

so there is my mindless vent for the night.....enjoy!

Scariest movie

Well after what has been a busy night, we (my partner and I) have finally been granted some "down time".

After I settle into the lazy boy with my Tim Horton's tea (that was made wrong) I choose a movie that apparently has gotten rave reviews. The movie is 1408 with my favorite John Cusack playing the main character.
This writer checks into a haunted room....#1408.

Let me preface this by giving you a wee bit of insight into my life and my thoughts on scary movies. If at any time in, any movie a scary child or better yet a scary dead child appears....that movie is finished for me. In seeing said scary/dead/ghost child I have already shat my pants at that point the movie will no longer be "fun" for me to watch.

So after that rant...you can obivously see where this is going. As I blog this my partner continues to watch #1408, and continues to give me updates on all the goings on in room 1408.

so my thoughts....if you don't like scary movie's.....don't watch this little gem....just like I won't be.

holy shiatsu massage batman!

My Horoscope for Aujourdui

"At first you try to be diplomatic, but later you could toss restriction to the wayside. You could become a tad outrageous or crazy. Perhaps in letting go, you'll understand more about those who are more carefree" The KW Record june 3rd.

I read this about 30 seconds before I had to go and deal with a carefree individual who may have had a "tad" to much to drink.
I actually was very curteous without becoming "outrageous or crazy", however I certainly thought about becoming the very thing my horoscope said I would be.

I guess the overwhelming eau to urine made me confused as to what I should do.

another day another dollar...i love my job!

work

The general public is stupid....
that is how i'm starting this blog....and that's all i have to say for now!!