Why would anyone voluntarily water ski?

I decided to head up to the ol' cottage for the long weekend after a stressful week of work...and a stressful month overall.

It turned out a be a pretty good decision. I was able to hang out with some family I haven't seen in eons, read for hours on end and was able to see my mother ( who rarely drinks) realatively intoxicado.

The last day I was there I decided to do some well deserved knee-boarding, tubing and I figured that while I was at it, why not throw some water-skiing into the mix.

Well let me tell you that after about four years of not even looking at a water ski, I remeber why I decided to forget the sport all together. When you fall (because it is going to happen) depending on your speed and terminal velocity at time of impact one of three things ( or all of them) will occur.
#1- you will most probably lose your shorts and/or bathing suit bottoms
#2-you will have your eye lids sucked back to the bottom of the lake given you an appearance of someone who is REALLY surprised
#3- you will experience the unfortunate feeling of an elderly man recieving his first enema. (copious amounts of water being shot up your nether regions and a rediculous speed).

This is not fun...sure once you actually make it to a standing (or slightly hunched over) position it is kinda fun. You think you look pretty cool and can weave back and forth over the wake that is created by the boat.

Falling as i've described in gruesome detail above aint so much fun.

After falling...(yes you get over the inital shock and unfortunateness of many people witnessing your demise) you get to experience the pain for days to come. I awoke this morning and I had (still have) pain in areas of my body I forgot existed. I am unable to walk up any number of stairs....unable to bend over to retrive something from the bottom of the fridge, and cannot sit comfortably ANYWHERE!

So, my advice for all of you would-be water skiers...give it a whirl but be prepaired for the ill affects that will haunt you for three days or so after your olympic water skiing attempts....

Have fun bloggers...i'm going to go and ice my ass!