I'll certainly "Take it with me"

For the past week or so I have had the song "Take it with me" by Megan Mullally stuck in my head. Now don't get me wrong, it's a solid song but for an entire week...REALLY??!?

It's now to the point where i'm actually singing aloud in order to hopefully release this song from my feeble mind.
I was caught belting out this festive tune yesterday by my landlord, whilst retrieving my mail. He is a very nice (older) polish...or possibly Czech man. He usually doesn't talk a lot but i'm sure I scared him because unbeknownst to me during my aria he was standing behind me washing the floors. It certainly scared the shit out of me when he said ( in a very strong accent) "Oh...youst like singing". Mid song "HOLY SHIT....oh....um...yup I guess so". I scurried into my apartment like a rat completely embarrassed. Let's be honest here folks...I do like to sing but my voice (during a tune) sounds more like Vincent Price's than it does Megan Mullally's.

I honestly would love to have a good singing voice..and just not think like I do once i've have a few wobbly pops.

I doesn't make sense to me, why do songs get "stuck in our heads"? There have been many a song that I have been unable to remove from my cerebellum. I remember a number of Christmases ago "Feliz Navidad" took up residence there for the entire Christmas season. I'm sure it didn't help that I once was a valued employee of Northern Reflections and that store played "Feliz Navidad"...from October 29th right up until close on December 24th. Jesus!! Enough already!

I guess it's how it's meant to be. My voice will always be like my dress sense...it will always leave something to be desired. I will also have to accept the fact that I will forever be caught by some custodian...or small child that walks into a Madison Square Garden concert that's going on it my head.

I will give you some advice based on my experiences, for all you wanna be singers out there...be proud...and if completely embarrassed after being caught...do what I do...pretend your retarded.

Thanks for reading my useless and random thoughts. I sometimes scare myself!

Drunk by yourself.

I am currently enjoying some teen time....a moment of time that i take for myself.
This may for some of you, involve some sweatpants, chips and a good movie.
I myself enjoy taking a day off, watching some TV (either Global or CTV since those are the only channels I get with my rabbit ears), and thoroughly enjoy a nice glass (or four) of red wine.

Tonight I figured why not, why not drink by myself.
I don't feel like venturing out of my humble abode. I am "hunkered down" in my lulu lemon sweats (how chic), my multitude of pillows and as mentioned before my wine.

I never realized how getting drunk by yourself can be a grand old time. I can have as many glasses as I want without the bar tender giving me a certain look (probably thinking "fuckin alcoholic") , I can eat however,whatever and whenever I want. I can mow a big bac in the typical drunk fashion of mashing it into your gob. Think of it...you too can achieve this goal and as an added bonus of drinking by yourself you don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself or your peers...

I am currently enjoying a cheap....wait...less expensive bottle, I mean glass of Yellow Tail. I am big fan of their merlot, but i'm not impartial to the shiraz every now and again.

As you can tell, it has taken me a long while to actually write this blog. It has been a great time waster...it has involved me using the washroom twice, pouring another glass of wine and possibly going to have a smoke that I lit at the wrong end because i'm intoxicated.

This is mint....I can't wait to do this again.
Thank you for taking the time to enjoy with me.
Later...i'm most likely going to go and try to light another smoke...then pass out.
I LOVE my life!!

The Chicago Fun Times

I've just return from the preverbial windy city. The town lives up to it's name. It was really nice when we were down there but windy as all hell. We walked many miles, saw many a site and had many a good time.

I celebrated my birthday in a local hole in the wall. The blues in this city is fantaz-great. The bar..."The Underground Wonder Bar" is a mish-mash of local, homeless, tourist and nouveau bohemian people. It's now possibly my favorite bar. They have the local beer, Heileman's Old Style, that tastes like crap however once you have a few you don't really notice the old feet taste.

We went in the first night we were there and were welcomed by Darlene the bar keep, who didn't really care where we sat, didn't give a shite what we orderd...as long as she got a picture of my travelling Gnome "Biney" in her shirt...she didn't care what the hell we were up to.

After the hangover subsided the next morning we went walking all over the city. Mainly stuck to the north side but once we ventured down to the the south side...we met the Chi-Town Crazies. There were homeless people there but I figured that they were the same as the homeless/psych patients in my city.

I was wrong.

I was sitting enjoying a well deserved cigarette, when an obviously homeless male walked passed us. We wouldn't of really noticed he was even there until he bitch slapped a woman on her shoulder. She didn't even react. My friend and I were completely gobbsmacked. We looked at eachother then back at this man-he then gave us the double handed finger...waving them @ us.

Wow...okay that was nuts but funny...I thought that is the worst we would get...again

I was wrong.

Not ten seconds later we noticed another middle aged man, obviously homeless with an impish grin, dancing randomly infront of a store. He started with, what I call half assed jazz hands. Continued with jazz hands mixed with drunken scottish dancing then he proceeded to molest himself. Of course at this point in the dance I tried to caputre this fellow on camera. Much to my shagrin he moved on, walking up the road. Almost done my smoke, I put my camera back in my bag and turned around. I now find myself face to face with the crazy dance psycho. My jaw hung open as my friend and I observed him pick a flower...smell the flower...then smell me...then try to put the flower in my tank top strap. At this point I jumped up, terrifying many pedestrians, and screamed at him "DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME". We started to walk away and he remained half hunched over in the flower garden we were sitting in front of.

Needless to say we would not sit anyway for longer than 30 seconds for the rest of the trip.

I do have to say, that despite are crazy experiences listed above the people from Chicago are some of the friendliest people that I have ever met in a big city. They are funny and clearly take pride in there city.

I could totally live there.

Be sure to see the Navy Pier, the Downtown, The many museums and please the city by water (either water taxi or a tour boat).

Hopefully you have enjoyed my little blog.

Overdose in the arena, with the hockey stick..

I am not one to judge, or even be pissed off with what people do in their everyday lives. It is not my life, it is theirs and they can do what the hell they want with it. That being said, when one's daily life choices affect me (ie-make me have to work my ass off) then I will have no issue in becoming highly irritated with that specific individual.

I have to deal with the general public's life choices on a semi-regular basis, which (as I said above) doesn't usually bother me.

On a recent night I had to deal with a certain individual that had "over-indulged" on specific narcotic. I'm sure it was an accident and this person wasn't trying to get high...or intentionally hurt his or herself...no...just an absent minded little lamb, that took one to many pills... ...NOT!

This tard takes WAY-THE-HELL to many pills...or heroin (whoops) and decides to go and take in some of the local talent at the nearby hockey rink. So sometime during the first or second period, a hockey player notices "the drunk weirdo" at the back of the hockey rink "passed out".

Well passed out aint exactly the term but for arguments sake we will use that word.

"Drunk weirdo" had decided to conviently pass out and stop breathing in the furthest corner of the rink, while sporting the most articles of clothing a human being can possibly wear.

In my line of work...obivously i'll start by helping Chris* breathe while my counterparts cut off four pounds of clothes off so we can actually move Chirs* to a more suitable area of the arena.

We move Chris* and my partner is able to give him a drug (narcan) that usually helps in these hairy situations and almost completely revereses the effects of the Heroin, or oxycodone (which we have established is most likely taken of Chris'* own volition).

It is very interesting to see this drug work...it takes someone who either has intentionally or unintentionally overdosed on a narcotic from a totally unconcious-not breathing-state to a wide, awake, alert...almost enthusiastic state. It is really cool to see.

Long story short once the narcan takes affect, Chris* the hockey fan awakes only to find a ton of people gaulking. Chris* sits up, spits out some gum (that evidently Chris* was chewing during his stroll to the rink)...and says...."I didn't take anything I swear"...(insert eye-roll here).

After helping Chris* i'm truly amazed at how lucky I am to be able to help the public, how truly blessed I am to see people at their worst and help them to become their best and how truly NAIVE I am that I didn't even realise I was kneeling in piss and some other of Chris' bodily fludis the entire time.

Chris* and his crazy highjinks. I love my job!

Driving across Canada anyone?

Well one of my good amigos has asked me to be in his wedding party...on the guys side, next year in july. I am totally pumped and cannot wait...i'm even exited about wearing the damn groomsman dress that apparently is needed in such a custom.
With that being said, I started thinking about ways in which I could get my bad self and some friends to Vernon B.C for a frugal price. Flying...okay it's quick but sheeet it's tres cher. I don't really want to pay $750 bucks for only a flight,(....I might pay it for an all inclusive where I can indulge in the public drunkeness that sometimes is my life!) I thought of the ol' reliable train system but when looking into that I found apparently that nostagia is also expensive.
So thus far unless I take my personal vehicle (which won't make it outside of ontario) I think the RV is the way i'll be slummin' it to B.C.

I became excited about this prospect....shoot: see Canada, be able to drink while someone else is driving, don't have to stop of at hostel after hostel which no doubt are seedy at best in certain parts of our home and native land, did I mention the drinking possibly through the boring parts of Alberta and my ability to share it with friends. It sounded pretty exciting.

Realize how I used the term "it sounded"...after I had some time to process our adventure I began to think, with whom would I travel? Obviously my good friend the austrailian...(ha) he is a pretty cool travel partner.....hmmn....I started to think I could bring my friends...but none of them are included in the wedding. I began to serisouly realize what I had suggested.
I learned rather quickly when travelling through europe that people you don't know are gross to sleep beside....one of my friends put it best "I don't want to wake up and find some strangers GIANT back in my face". Aint it the truth. I began to think of all the weird shit that people do...ie-their bathroom routine (ew.....even that word grosses me out), their driving skills, the ability to keep my 5 year old-esque attention span while driving in said parts of Alberta.

So again after some realizations I decided that, that idea is out....I think unless I can bring my good friends...I will end up probably driving across Canada, in my car...which hopefully will work it's way across Canada. I can share a few laughs with my friend, share gas, tent and be able to happily deal with his clean, small and friendly back in my face.

Time off!

I have decided that some of the best times in life (although small and some may consider "non-best time") is the time when you first wake up after a solid,enjoyable sleep (drool and sleep lines included) and the day before a day off work. Sure everyone enjoys the actual day off work..sure...however the day before your upcoming day off, your still at work daydreaming of the glorious adventures that await you on said day and spare time! Ohh isn't it exciting.

I always will think about cleaning my appartment, and for some reason I have notions of grandure. I think...okay clean: bathroom and bedroom, frame that poster i've been meaning to for two months, take the dog for a walk, paint the roof, have a bath, feed the goat and possibly install an indoor pool!

Does anyone else think like this? Or are people out there in bloggersville, Idaho that are actually rational, in realizing there limitations of their days off.

What will almost always happen are either some or all of the following: sleep until between 2pm and 3pm (with my lazy ass dog...who enjoys sleep possibly more than I do), I awake and say in bed for the next 15 minutes, have coffe...watch TV and celebrate my not having to work!

A little battered and bruised!

Well i'm back to the land of rain, wet snow and poor drivers.

I just spent about four days in the lovely B.C interior...Kamloops is a sight to be held. The city itself isn't touristy, not blown out of proportion but a humble town with stellar ski hills.



As I stated in my previous blog I was going to try my hand at snowboarding. I'd never done it before and figured since it's what they do in B.C ...i'd try to resemble one of the locals and give it the old college try.

As I had never even set foot on a snowbord, I was informed that I should know which foot I should place "first" on the board (IE your guide foot). Since I had obviously know idea, the lad at the hill decided to help me choose my "guide foot" and gave me a good solid shove. Apparently whatever foot you place behind or infront of you after your violent shove is you "stable" foot.
So, now that I had my stable left foot firmly in place on my board...I was chairlift bound.

The chiair lift was another adventure. Thankfully the lift attendants will slow the lift down for you (or completely stop it in my case) so that the rider is able to comfortably mount said chairlift.
At the top they also slow it down, but in my case it was too late and I was already a crumpled mass underneath the chair lift.

I am now at the top of the "baby" hill. Baby hill was defiantely an understament and for those of you who have skiied at Chicopee will understand that an ontario baby hill and a British Columbian baby hill are utterly different.

The first time I went down, I crawled the first half, and fell the second half. It took my approximately 1 1/2 hours to traverse the hill.

Regardless it was a pretty damn good sport. The chairlift eventually was conquered...however the signs by the chairlift were not. I ran into them knocking them over every single time I dismounted the lift.

That is all of my shinnanegans for now.....
later peeps, keep it real!

So

Snowboarding for me!

I'm totally in for a weee trek to the west coast!

I've never done the snowboarding thing before and figure I should totally give it a whirl! Why not?

I'm sure i'll manage to fit in some (copious amounts of) drinky poo! And maybe sampling some on B.C's finest (wink wink nudge nudge!)

Who knows.

I'll give you an update when I get back....

Later peeps!

stay away from hospital bathrooms!

Take heed my friends and use this advice. Please stay away from hospital bathrooms.

I've finally had it. Yes the workers at these specific hospitals do a really good job of cleaning them, however some people who choose to use these washrooms, are either really sick....or faking sick for attention.

Against my better judgement, I had to use one of these facilities earlier today. I was in desperate need and thought that it wouldn't be that big a deal.

I entered the lavatory and walked over towards the toilet. It is then that I discovered a GIANT pile....of hair...(and let's just say for arguments sake that it wasn't from my head...or anyones HEAD for that matter...forget the 'arguments sake'...).

Someone that had just used the washroom prior to my entering it decided to do a trim job on their unmentionable areas.... Why would anyone in there right mind take care of that issue in the HOSPITAL washroom!

I actually screamed in complete horror. Thankfully my shreiks of terror didn't actually alert any of our local authourities, however thinking about it now maybe I should have tried to track down this sicko and have a cop arrested him for public disruptive behaviour.

Regardless. My advice is if you happend to find yourself in a similar situation, proceed with caution, remain calm and try not to cry/scream or shit yourself!

Take care friends, and have a beer. I know I will be once i'm done work!

SO.........

I am quite excited.
I am heading out to B.C sometime soon, to enjoy some snowboarding. I've never really tried snowboarding serisouly but I figured why not try my hand, while drinking on huge mountains in Kamloops. What, in all honesty could go wrong?

I think that my blog has becoming boring. I really don't have anything exciting going on.
My work usually keeps me entertained, but I don't have too many good stories; with the exception of more poor driving stories. They always keep me entertained. This story is based on some idiotic women that I nearly crashed into while driving my nearly dead patient to the hospital.
I had all of my lights on etc., was honking my horn AND siren like...well not my life, but my patients life depended on it. This women stood on her brakes and stopped about 1 ft infront of me. She didn't move, just put her hands to her head and shook her head. Correct me if i'm wrong however I don't believe that it says anywhere in my driver manual that the driver of a motor vehicle is supposed to use this manouver when dealing with an emergency situation.
I could not pass by her on the left due to the fact that there was a giant median in the way, and I could not pass her on the right because all the compentant drivers had pulled to the right (which is what one is supposed to do in these pesky situations). So, me being the calm individual that i am (minus the fact that i was screaming obscenities and making wild hand gestures) I placed my hand on the horn, and siren-alternating between the two-and sat there for 3 1/2 minutes. By the time this person finally figured out that she should move the f*ck out of my way....the other drivers (that are pulled over) are honking there horns and waving their arms wildly.
Needless to say dumb ass moved her P.O.S rusted out van and we proceded to the hospital without further incident. The patient ended up being okay.

So there is more stories form the road.

That's all for now...maybe i'll write later after my near death experiences whilst snowboarding in Kamloops...
later peeps!

Why would anyone voluntarily water ski?

I decided to head up to the ol' cottage for the long weekend after a stressful week of work...and a stressful month overall.

It turned out a be a pretty good decision. I was able to hang out with some family I haven't seen in eons, read for hours on end and was able to see my mother ( who rarely drinks) realatively intoxicado.

The last day I was there I decided to do some well deserved knee-boarding, tubing and I figured that while I was at it, why not throw some water-skiing into the mix.

Well let me tell you that after about four years of not even looking at a water ski, I remeber why I decided to forget the sport all together. When you fall (because it is going to happen) depending on your speed and terminal velocity at time of impact one of three things ( or all of them) will occur.
#1- you will most probably lose your shorts and/or bathing suit bottoms
#2-you will have your eye lids sucked back to the bottom of the lake given you an appearance of someone who is REALLY surprised
#3- you will experience the unfortunate feeling of an elderly man recieving his first enema. (copious amounts of water being shot up your nether regions and a rediculous speed).

This is not fun...sure once you actually make it to a standing (or slightly hunched over) position it is kinda fun. You think you look pretty cool and can weave back and forth over the wake that is created by the boat.

Falling as i've described in gruesome detail above aint so much fun.

After falling...(yes you get over the inital shock and unfortunateness of many people witnessing your demise) you get to experience the pain for days to come. I awoke this morning and I had (still have) pain in areas of my body I forgot existed. I am unable to walk up any number of stairs....unable to bend over to retrive something from the bottom of the fridge, and cannot sit comfortably ANYWHERE!

So, my advice for all of you would-be water skiers...give it a whirl but be prepaired for the ill affects that will haunt you for three days or so after your olympic water skiing attempts....

Have fun bloggers...i'm going to go and ice my ass!

My Little Birdie

So most of the people who regularly read this blog will know that a member of my family (my pet bird pogo) died recently.

It's not the best picture I have of her, but I figure I would put it up anways because it's a pretty cute picture.

You know, I can't believe how supportive and "uber" cool my friends have during, during probably one of the most depressive times of my life.

I know that your thinking that it's just a bird...

but really she was way more than a bird...she would walk out of my bedroom into the kitchen just to get some piece of food ( usually meat, or spaghetti), she loved coke (only in the can) and would attack anyone who she felt might steal her eggs...or mirror or febreeze bottle that she liked to chew.

It's nuts what people (myself included) do for their animals....after she got sick in may I was told to keep her warm when I brought her home...so (much to pogo's dismay) I crammed her into my bed and would sleep beside her, for like 2 weeks.... It worked though she did get better.

I miss her so much and swear that I can still hear her walking around my appartment... I thought I would just share a little of the bird that I loved and was lucky enough to have for an all to short 14yrs....

Some neat illustrations found during a brief moment of boredum...whilst at work

The joys of a looong weekend

So, although I couldn't head down south to the picture below, i've just returned from four days of sunny/overcast days in the Haliburton Highlands where I have a cottage.

A beauty long weekend....full of booze, boating and benevolence. Everything beginning with B anyway.

The long weekend is usually pretty relaxing until the ride home. I was initially planning on leaving early Monday morning, however giving it some thought I realized that everyone and there pooch would be heading home around the same time. So me being the inventive type I decided to leave late on Sunday night. Well apparently I'm not nearly as inventive as I once thought because a trip that usually takes about 3 hours took nearly 4....and I took the 407 ( the expensive highway that is faster).

Seriously why? Once there are more that 10 cars on the highway people forget the basic rules of the road.

Numero uno- the fast lane is for drivers driving fast.... not drivers driving under the speed limit with a trailer and forty bikes on the back of there wayward caravan. RIDICULOUS!

Numbero dose- there is no need for excessive break usage. There was this person in front of me that would break every time that he or she ( I couldn't tell if this person was male of female because as soon as the chance presented itself I blew past them @ 180km) thought that the car 2 miles in front of them might on the off chance stop!

Oh well, I'm home and learned a valuable lesson that if I am going to head home I either have to leave at 3 am or take the dirt roads home, not the major highways.

All said I did have a pretty damn good weekend. Just relaxed and totally forgot about the bogosity that sometimes occurs at work....okay that always occurs at work!

Why the hell can't I be there?

Why can't I be on this beach right now?

I'm currently awaiting a bed at a certain hospital that is really busy! I'm personally not waiting for a bed (mind you sometimes I think I should be comitted to the psych ward) I'm waiting for my patient to get a bed.

I decided to write a blog about the places that I would like to be right now, rather than being stuck here at the hospital.

I would rather be

A) at home doing nothing

B) at a local bar drinking some sort of beer or fancy cockatil

C) on said beach pictured above learning how to surf...or roll joints with only one hand....(ha ha ha)

Look at this picture....why can't I work down there?

Well come to think of it if I were to work in some tropical island I would be drunk 95% of the time!!

I just thought I would waste my time writing this post, and hopefully you reading this will daydream about the places you wish to visit or live....

wether it's pipe dreaming or not....

My horoscope the other day (one which I rarely read) said actually instead of pipe dreaming....DO IT! Do the crazy shit you normally wouldn't do!

Well I should end this pointless blog because now that we have a bed...i'm now going to do a bogus transfer of a patient to Hamilton.....

Does Hamilton have a beach like this one??

lets hope so...

BIG PAIN!

So, just thought I would add my two cents about something that has recently come to my attention.

Tattoo's are great....however don't get them done on your wrist.

My most recent is two waves...and I do really love it. I had it done in April on my left wrist. I like the design for a number of reasons...the two waves inter- "mingling" appealed to me the most.

The actual design is called "nalu" meaning; Wave, surf; full of waves; wavy as wood grain. Ke nalu nei ka moana, the ocean is full of waves. 2. vt. To ponder, meditate, reflect, mull over, speculate.

As I said love the design, however should have chosen to place it elsewhere on my body. My wrist hurt like a son of a gun (the first time around).....the problem arose afterward when the tattoo artist told me it will probably fade because my wrist was a "high traffic area"...

Question number one-why in the hell did he not tell me this vital detail prior to permanently etching it into my arm.

Question two- what the hell does he think i'm doing with my wrist to make it a high traffic area...? LAME

So...needless to say it faded rather noticeably to the point where a 11 yr old friend of mine stated bluntly "Erin, you probably shouldn't draw on your arm...it doesn't look good"....(YESS)

So I diligently trudged down to the local tattoo hole today to get it re-done.

The first time hurt...but was bearable...second time....SHITE!

It really hurt this time, he went over the same area so many god damned times that I was practically shooting blood onto the table.

So, I still say go get that snake holding a rose tattoo you've always wanted but avoid the wrist like the plague my friends....like the plague

Well have fun out there, and good luck.....

My new Favorite Blog

Ya'll have to check out this blog....not supposed to be funny at all, just someone writing about her everyday life, but the pictures and limited word usage is simply divine! I laughed so freakin hard....

look i'm not saying my blog is anything to write home about, it's an outlet I use when i'm bored. However this blog is something to be had.

http://creativityfrom303.blogspot.com/

Maybe i'm the only one who thinks this is funny, but I reccomend you take a boo, and let me know what you think.

I've included some pictures from this women's blog for your enjoyment.

Here is a taste of Mrs. B's poetry enjoy;

The fox went out on a chilly night

Prayed to the moon to give him light

For he had many miles to go that night

Before he reached the town-o

Just brilliant mrs B simply brilliant!

Totally random pictures

These are some totally random pictures that I actually found on this computers hard drive....
we actually have some down time and I was bored so I started mooching around and looky what i've found.
A) My steallar parking job!!
B) My rez football game!!












C) Some sign that i've found...isn't it great!!

That is that, and that is all.....

So on the way to work....

Of course i'm already 15 minutes late, and there is traffic on the highway because the city of Kitchener is physically unable to construct proper highways.

Bumper to Bumper and I can already assume that there is an accident (however minor) probably about 100 feet ahead of me that people insist on looking at.

I am in uniform, so as I pass this "fender bender" and think to myself...."people are stopping to look at this shit". There was two cars that had stopped, AND one had a flat tire. This was why I was late for work, and also why it later became my first call of the night.

Some "good samaritan" decided that someone, at somepoint (i'm guessing whilst changing the tire) somehow looked injured in someway. BOGUS!!!!! That good samaritan called 911, without stopping to check himself wether or not anyone was hurt. So with this individual calling 911, police, Fire and Ambulance ALL show up for someone changing a tire.

Needless to say the poor sod that I had passed earlier on my way into work, still was changing his tire when the calvary shows up. The tire guy has this deer in the headlights look, as does his waif of a girlfriend.

My rant lesson for today, IF you are kind enough to call 911, STOP TO CHECK IF EVERYONE IS OKAY...unless, of course it is a gun fight between to nuns ( you don't want to get in the middle of that shit).

More mindless things....

So here are some funny signs and pictures that I found online and laughed my ass off at. Instead of reading or doing something constructive...I thought I would share these images with all of you.

That is about all I can muster today.....stand by fellow bloggers...i'm sure I'll add more shit later!

enjoy!